Dave 'N Bob
(Five) |
| (Int. - Small Apt. - an unkempt Dave sits playing a video game. There's a knock at the door... Dave pauses the game, gets up and answers the door. Bob stands on the other side, grinning. Dave groans and turns around, walking back to his game) |
| Bob |
"I have come to pronounce my eternal Love and devotion to thee!" |
| Dave |
(Sits down and resumes his game)"And you've pronounced it perfectly. Why the hell did you knock? It's not like you don't live here or anything." |
| Bob |
"I just wanted to see if I could tear you away from that game for a moment to walk to the door. You know, give you the only exercise you've probably had all day." |
| Dave |
"Yeah, thanks a bunch, Richard Smoker." |
| Bob |
"Richard Smoker?" |
| Dave |
(Pauses game and looks up at the puzzled Bob)"Think about it." |
| Bob |
(Makes a constipated 'I'm thinking really hard' face, then shrugs it off)"So what are we doing tonight? Anything?" |
| Dave |
(Shrugs)"I got a dollar. Oh, Julie called earlier. She said..." |
| Bob |
(Interrupts)"Oh yeah! D'she tell you about her friend?" |
| Dave |
"Uh, yeah... But man, you know I cant stand blind dates and..." |
| Bob |
(Interrupts again)"Dave, when was the last time you were on any kind of date?" |
| Dave |
(Angrily goes back to playing his game)"Cock." |
| Bob |
(Laughs) "Look, all I'm saying is try it, you might like it." |
| Dave |
"Even if I was into it, I still have no dough. The more money I spend, the less I have for rent. No rent means we homeless." |
| Bob |
"No rent means you homeless. I can afford it."(Bob laughs. Dave doesn't)"Look man, I'll get the bill for tonight, ok? Come out with us and meet Liz. We think you'll be into her." |
| Dave |
"Fine. If it'll get you to shut up, I'll go. Jesus, you're worse than a woman; nag nag nag, do the dog, walk the dishes, date this girl... It never ends!" |
| Bob |
(Laughs and sits down)"You just keep bitchin' Dave, that’s what you're good at." |
| Dave |
"Shut up."(Continues playing video game until he loses a life.) |
| Bob |
"Ha! You suck!" |
| Dave |
"Now I gotta piss. See? You make me want to urinate."(stands up angrily and starts towards the bathroom.)"I haven't had the urge to pee at all today and then you show up and the flood gates open." |
| Bob |
"Don't I feel special." |
| Dave |
"I bet." (mumbles to himself) "Damn blind date. Girl's prob'ly a dog anyway." |
| Bob |
(Yells back to Dave at the bathroom)"What?" |
| Dave |
"Nothing Dear."(Slams door) |
| (Bob leans forward and picks up Dave's controller and presses Start button.) |
| Dave |
(From behind the bathroom door)"And don't touch my game!" |
| Bob |
(Continues playing)"I'm not! And take a shower while you're in there, you have a date tonight!" |
